Cop Chronicles
by 0mohni0
Summary: Cops have to do MANY weird/stupid/funny things in their careers. It doesent help when the egotistical characters inu and the gang are cops too! Read the many adventures and joys of being a cop! Rated for mild swearing and laugh your *** off humor!
1. Infinltating a gang's hidout: intro

**Cop chronicles**

**Infiltrating a gang's hideout**

DISCLAIMER:-I do not own Inuyasha. There. Simply announced to the world.

Inuyasha crouched behind a wall corner, his hair flowing back and contrasting brightly with the black military type suit he wore. A gun was held up by his shoulder, loaded and loaded, ready to fire.

He jumped around the corner, his pistol held at arms length, and ready to shoot at anyone who dare cross 'the mighty Inu's path'.

He chuckled a bit as he remembered that particular joke from at home, at his stance. He did have the best posture required to fight, jump around and shoot, but had always been made the butt of good-humored jokes concerning it.

He took a tense step forwards and shined his flashlight first to the right, then to the left. He didn't want to be taking any chances with this gang's hideout.

If the members of this gang didn't insist on being so 'bad' and drug shipping, they would all most probably by hired by the government intelligence agencies. God, they were damn intuitive. All of them.

He shone his light at the balcony above the rotting floorboards ahead. He saw a flash a orange. He cheered himself one. He got one.

His agility came to use as he leapt to the side to have himself in a blind spot for the person up there and aimed with the gun, trying to get his hand steady.

"aim…..steady….kaboom!" he muttered to himself as he shot the bullet. "damn!" he cursed. A bit off. He still got the person on the arm, though…… now to coax him into surrendering.

"you!" he bellowed, still in the shadows.

"surrender, and we'll get you something to ease the pain and bleeding!" he said. He perked his fluffy ears up. No response. Seems this guy can't make up his mind what to do.

"you'll die of blood loss this way!" he shouted again.

He strained his ears again, but only to hear more silence.

"I wont shoot you!" he yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls oddly. "it not like the old geezer will give me permission to shoot you as of yet." he grumbled to himself.

Some rustling, and a few steps.

" I repeat, I will not shoot you!" Inuyasha hated this coaxing he had to do. It seemed degrading to him somehow.

"Put your gun down!" came a raspy voice, a girl's voice. That came something of a shock to Inuyasha. He grinned. She had no idea what she was in for.

He laid down his rifle and kicked it to the middle of the floor. "Now your's!" he shouted. From the creaking, he could guess that the girl was descending the stairs slowly.

A dropping sound and a quick flash of metal hitting his rifle.

He whipped around slowly to see the girl had both arms in the air, her orange sweatshirt loose around her top with grey track pants underneath.

He didn't bother taking out the extra rifle in his back pocket, or the pepper spray. He calmly walked over the girl said gruffly, "Have your hands around your back."

She obeyed, but as he was fumbling with the hand cuffs (he could never get them straight on) she made a run for it.

He sprinted after her, and before she could make it to gun, he caught up to her, and tackling her, they both fell to the ground. "Feisty one aren't you?" he asked, keeping his knees on either side of her back, pinning her down, and handcuffs on her within the next minute.

A figure entered as he was still fumbling with the handcuffs, wondering why the hell you had to be a genius to get those things to work.

"hey, Inuyasha! How many times have I told you never to treat a woman like that! You dog!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was Miroku lecturing on how 'to win a ladies heart!', right now. " Miroku, shut the hell up and take her outside."

He pushed the girl out from underneath him and stood up.

Miroku took the pleasure. He even said so. "I take pleasure in being the company of a beautiful woman, even if only for a few seconds, and bowed.

Inuyasha closed his eyes and shook his head. " MIROKU! You're a damn cop for god's sake! YOU'RE NOT ON A FRKIN' DATE!" he bellowed.

Miroku rolled his eyes right back at him. "is being courteous a crime?" he asked. The girl smiled a bit.

It was easy to see why. As Miroku was telling her all about life in general, and lavishing her with compliments, typical behavior from him, she had her leg around his in such a way that he would trip if he took another step, and he didn't even notice.

Inuyasha brushed his hair out of his eyes and pointed his spare rifle at the girl.

"YOU! I've got a gun pointed at you and I'm not afraid to shoot!" he threatened.

The girl froze in her tracks, but Miroku took a step away, causing him to fall chin first, on the wooden floor.

Inuyasha stifled a laugh. "Miroku, why don't you stop pretending she's your date and concentrate on learning how to walk straight first?"

"getting there!" Miroku called out cheerfully. Inuyasha groaned. That guy was never gonna learn. He was currently walking across the wooden floors to where it the most rotted. The girl lagged behind a bit, knowing full well where he was heading.

Since he didn't feel like yelling anymore, Inuyasha intercom-ed Miroku. " I wouldn't go that way if I were-"

His voice was drowned out by Miroku screaming and falling through the rotting floorboards, into the basement.

The girl, once again, made a break for it. Inuyasha, held out his rifle and raced after her. This time he didn't take any chances. He caught up to her, tackled her, and carried her over his shoulder to the police car.

"ah! Inuyasha! Well done. Glad to see you didn't kill her, as I asked." Inutashio said, leaning casually against the car, supervising the entire infiltration of the gang headquarters.

"Yeah, yeah, dad!" Inuyasha replied. "Uh…Miroku is kinda stuck in the basement, I just thought you'd want to know." Inutashio raised his eyebrows, but was interrupted from asking anything else from a call in his intercom.

"Uh…sir…..I need someone to help me out. I kind of fell through the rotted wood into the basement…." the speakerphone spoke, Miroku's voice apologetic through the wires.

Inuyasha called back. "Yeah, Miroku, why don't you tell him how you're date ditched you too!"

Inutashio shook his head and switched off the intercom.

"Inuyasha, where's Sesshomaru? Or the rest of the unit?"

"Uh…..well…..the rest of them came across a big Toblerone stash, and Sesshomaru was looking for ants the last time I saw him. WELL DUH! Dad, how the hell am I supposed to know?!"

Inuyasha turned around and rolled his eyes as he heard Inutashio mutter, "God, these stupid kids are going to give me a damn heart attack one day…"

He lifted off his helmet, straightened his hair, and put it back on with a sigh.

He flicked on his intercom. " Sesshomaru, you bastard, where the frikin' hell are you?"

"eating your chocolate!"

"idiot."

"jackass! What do you think?"

"uh…..in the house?"

"obviously! Sheesh, sometimes I wonder where mom and dad even got you from!"

"ok, shut up and tell me your position!"

"I'm searching the upper floors with Kouga."

"Ok, anything I can do?"

"Go jump off a cliff."

"Something useful."

"Ok….you could get Miroku outta the basement and search that. Dad did say something about the money the gang made probably being buried down there."

"Ok, and if you die, I hate you."

" I hate you too."

"Obliged."

Inutashio came in. " INUYASHA AND SESSHOMARU, STOP HAVING A FREINDLY CHAT AND CONCENTRATE ON INFLINTRATING THE BUILDING!"

Two calls came to Inutashio at the same time.

"Sheesh pops!"

Inuyasha once again entered the kitchen and tried opening random doors to find stairs to the basement.

"Miroku? Where the hell are you?" he asked on his intercom.

"I think I'm under the living room now, there were stairs to the basement on the kitchen left."

"Good. I'm coming to get you." Inuyasha walked over to the door all the way on the left of the kitchen. He kicked it open, keeping his gun at the ready.

He slowly descended the stairs, hating all the creaks the old wood gave out.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw a rotting old basement, with wood pilings everywhere, and a bit of light filtering in from above cracks in the floorboards.

His golden eyes locked on a figure lying in the wood, and wriggling a bit.

Inuyasha glanced to both sides, and then ran over to Miroku.

"God Miroku, I told you not to go there, but you wouldn't listen!" he accused as he tried to get Miroku up despite his broken leg and bleeding shoulder. One sharp splinter had gone a few inches into his skin, making it even harder to cope with the broken leg.

"Nah, I'm fine really! You should have seen me when I asked that lady by the bus stop out." Inuyasha chuckled.

He pressed the button in his intercom. "ah…Sessh….we have a bit of a problem. Miroku has a broken leg and a splinter is driven through his shoulder. I need to get him back to the van a.s.a.p."

"Feed him to the vultures."

Inuyasha sighed. "Figures he wouldn't care!" he grumbled as another call came in.

"ok, fine, let Hakudoushi deal with him."

"I think Hakudoushi's doing the ground floor with Kanna and Kougra. I heard shouting and a few gunshots fifteen minutes ago, but then I got a clear sign form them."

"Fine, then radio in Kagome."

"I'll do that."

In five minutes flat Kagome had come and taken Miroku already.

Inuyasha continued to search through the basement. Seeing that there was a dirt floor, he looked for any slight mounds that might indicate something being buried there.

He found it, tripped over a rather steep mound and spray painted it neon.

He came out twenty minutes later with the other when the building was infiltrated.

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Inuyasha raced up to his room in the boarding houses. He tore up the steps, sprinted past his mom, blew her a kiss, gave a fleeting hug to his dad, kicked his Sesshomaru, ruffled Shippo's hair ran to his room, locked the door and jumped in bed.

I love going to sleep…..hmn…..he thought as he drifted into Lala land.

He was awoken by someone wetting his face.

"Hmm…..don't…..mom…." he grumbled, turning over. Then that person jumped on him and continued to wet his face. He sleepily opened his eyes, to see a furry brown person on him with his tongue out and slobber dripping all over his chest.

He closed his eyes again and ruffled the person's hair a bit. Then he jumped up three feet in shock.

"Holy crap! Shit, damn!"

He swore as he saw his shirt was saturated with drool and the family dog, Jasmine was having a darling time licking his face and drooling all over him.

"Sick! Disgusting! Bad jasmine!" he scolded the St. Bernard now drooling over the carpet, as he changed his shirt.

"Ok, you know what? You are not allowed in my room until you stop drooling." Inuyasha said commandingly. "OUT!" the dog looked around as if to say, 'is he talking to me?'

"OUT!" Inuyasha pointed to the door.

Jasmine suddenly found her claws very interesting.

"Ok, that's it!" Inuyasha leaned over and grappled on Jasmine's underside.

"When I say out, I mean out. Now I am going to throw you-oh, god!"

Inuyasha tried lifting the heavy dog, but ended up slipping and falling down face first.

He rolled over on his back, upsetting his hair. Jasmine calmly walked over and sat above Inuyasha's head, her chin directly above his eyes. It wasn't long before another drop of saliva dripped from her mouth, over her chin and on the unlucky thing below.

" JASMINE!"

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Ok, yes, I know this chapter is not at all funny, but just wait for the next two!

You will be rolling in the floor, laughing your off!

Now review please!

PLEASE!


	2. Getting Ready

**Cop chronicles**

**Getting Ready**

"GO GO GO!" Inutashio yelled. " GET OUT OF BED YOU SLEEZE BAGS AND GET TO WORK! WE HAVE SITUATION!"

Inuyasha grumbled and rolled out of bed. It was four o'clock, nap time according to any normal person's body clock.

He threw on a shirt and hurried downstairs to the chaos/getting ready room.

It was already (as the name suggests) in chaos, with officers running front, left and center. He groaned.

Sesshomaru hopped past him on one foot, trying to get a boot on, " get out of my way, moron!"

Kagome was somewhere in the far corner, trying to find her jacket. " AH! WHERE THE HELL IS MY JACKET?" she creamed at the top of her voice.

Kouga was struggling to find his weapon amongst the others while shouting himself hoarse, " YOU ALL ARE BASTARDS!"

Kanna was running around looking every where for her belt. " I HATE YOU ALL, YOU F#ING RETARDS!"

Koura was shouting, " MORONS, WHERE THE HELL IS MY PEPPER SPRAY?"  
Hakudoushi just shouted from the corner, " SHIT, THERE'S A FRINKIN' SPIDER IN MY SHOE!"

Everybody froze. Kagome asked, "no, really?"

Hakudoushi shrugged. "nah, just for the fun of it."

The chaos resumed.

Kagura and Kouga were still trying to find their weapons, they looked through one row each, turned a ninety degree turn simultaneously, and ran SMACK into each other and fell down.

"Ooooo….." everyone in the room echoed before remembering their own plights and trying to find their stuff.

Inuyasha was now looking for his socks. " DIE ALL YOU WRETCHED PEOPLE! WHERE THE CHOCOLATE ARE MY SOCKS?"

Kanna giggled. "chocolate?" she asked.

" I like it." he replied.

Kagura, haven gotten up, now was continuing looking for her weapon, yelled, " I HOPE YOU ALL DIE!"

Kagome screeched from on top of a closet, rummaging for her pepper spray, " DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

Sesshomaru bellowed, " I HATE YOU ALL AND SHUT UP!" that quieted them down for a bit.

"why do we always do this?" he asked.

"do what?" Kagura said.

" The whole running around screaming insults at each other while getting ready thing?"

"Ah..that? No reason really. Just fun."

Sesshomaru stared at her.

She shrugged.

Miroku resumed yelling as he cupped his hands to make a speakerphone and said, " I HOPE YOU ALL DIE, AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY PEPPER SPRAY?"

From below Inutashio sighed.

"tell me," he said to Izayoi. " I don't believe we made THAT much noise in our years?"

She grimaced and stomped up the stairs.

Miraculously, everyone in the supply room heard her coming.

" Uhoh….CODE LILIAC! CODE FRIKIN LILIAC!" Miroku yelled.

They all sat down quietly and started doing what they had to, whistling cheerfully, just as Izayoi walked in.

She narrowed her eyes at every one of them in turn and shut the door to go back down the stairs.

When she was about halfway down, Kanna screeched, " I HATE YOU ALL, I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH, AND ROT IN HELL! NOW GIVE ME MY PEPPER SPRAY!"

They all stared at her. Kagome whistled a low whistle. " I guess you had some time to think about that……."

She replied, " ME WANT MY PEPPER SPRAY!! There, better?" she smiled sweetly at Kagome, who grinned and threw her a bottle of what she screaming for.

In about ten minutes of screaming, shouting, insulting, kicking, punching, scrambling, and throwing stuff around, they all were lined up outside the door, fully ready.

The guys had a black military type jacket and pants with a bullet proof vests and helmets, and the girls had the same type of vest, helmets and jackets, except with thigh length boots and a miniskirt that was about five inches higher then the boots, on.

Inutashio and Izayoi walked in front of them.

Inutashio announced, " today, you are being sent on a special course. You will learn who to help the victims of a crime feel comfortable with coming to the police of any problem occurs, and you will comfort them. Now, if you end up swearing and beating up a random person in the office throughout your career, you WILL be fired. Understand?"

Sesshomaru took off his helmet and straightened his hair. "fine, I get it, dad. You made us get all dressed up for nothing."

Izayoi replied, " correct. We didn't really feel like telling you, you weren't going on a mission, but then you got ready according to drill. You can take off the jackets and helmets if you want."

There was a sigh of relief and everyone threw their helmets the ground.

"ok, now out the door! You will be meeting with a very troublesome client, YOU WILL BE RECORDED. Now out the door!"

They were led into the hall with a cabin like room in the middle. " you will each pass through this cabin, solve the person's problem and get out. START!" he blew his whistle. "Oh, and if you can't do it, don't hurt the volunteer, just move out."

Kouga was up first. He entered the cabin to see a pretty blonde lady in a blue dress coat and skirt sitting down. She stood up. "ah, officer Kouga, you must be?"

He nodded and asked her to sit down.

She pushed a form towards him. " I cant seem to understand this form. Could you please explain this box?" she pointed at the one for name.

"uh….miss, that's for your name."

"what? I didn't quite catch that." the lady flashed him a huge smile.

"it's for your name."

"and you do…."

" you write down your name here."

"ok….full name?"

"yes."  
" but my full name wont fit!"

"it will, just try writing it." he assured to the lady, who looked thoroughly distraught.

"it wont."

"it will."

"it wont."

" it will."

"it wont."

"why don't you try it?" he asked, starting to get ticked off now.

"Annabelle Mary Wellson Chierchelf Weasely Elizabith Smithstone."

Kouga gaped at her.

" now will it fit?" she asked smugly.

He recovered and said, " it alright, you can write down here."

She smiled apologetically at him and said, "could you please write it down for me? I cut my hand, it pains me a bit."

She wiggled her pinky a bit to show a tiny paper cut and smiled as he rolled his eyes.

He took the pen and began writing down her name. " so how do you spell Chierchelf?"

"c-h-I-e-c-h-s-m-g-r-l-f"

"dosent that become chiechsmfrlg?" he said, having a hard time pronouncing it.

"oh, I didn't say that! I said shiershieflgr!"  
"what?"

"oh, chierlflag"

"what? You're making no sense!"

" you don't even know how to spell my name!" she looked as if she would cry.

she looked up with great big doe eyes to where kouga was supposed to be standing but he was already out the door signaling a 'that lady inside is crazy!" sign to Inutashio, who blew the whistle for Hakudoushi to go in. he walked over to Kouga who was muttering, " never again…..grr…." he put a hand on his shoulder.

"you know, you did pretty good. No one was expected to resolve that lady's problem, because you'll never, I hope to god, get a client like that. You worked on her for about five minutes, which is a flying score, cause two minutes was the passing mark."

Kouga growled at his happy smile. " why must you continue to torture us so?" he shook his head again.

"uh….but, don't tell anyone else that!" he warned as Kouga headed off to change and sit in the common room waiting for the others to come back.

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No, really, this isn't even that funny. Yet. Ive been writing the next chapter, and I fell over about twenty time, trying to WRITE IT!

Just review and wait a bit, and I'll have it up in no time!

Thanks, air peps, for reviewing, its been three days I havent got a spoon of feedback, until from you today.

Airpeeps- I'm sorry if I spelled Kagura's name wrong but I already got the other way in my computer dictionary….so I wont bother fixing it until the new chapters. Anyway, glad you like the last chapter, and hope you like this one too, and keep reviewing!


	3. The mad cannibalistic form

If you are not rolling on the ground with laughter at the end of this, well…..try my other stories!

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**Cop chronicles**

**The mad cannibalistic form**

Hakudoushi walked in, took one look at the goofily smiling lady sitting by the desk, sighed, and sat down.

The lady was humming a song, and when asked a question by Hakudoushi, looked up. Totally ignoring Hakudoushi, she exclaimed, "Oh look a bee!" Hakudoushi rebuked and jumped back, only to plain air.

He looked around a bit to see nothing, then was interrupted by her saying, "Oh look a apple!" pointing at thin air.

Hakudoushi looked. She cried out, " HA! Made you look!"

He shook his head and opened to say something when she cried out, " OMG! Look, a bear!"

Hakudoushi spun around, to see nothing.

"Made you look!"

"OH look! A big stash of chocolate!"

He whipped around while she cackled, "Made you look!"

Inutashio looked surprised. "Out so quickly?"

Hakudoushi pounded Inutashio on the back. " I could smell HER stupidity from a mile away." and went off to change.

Inutashio blew his whistle. " NEXT!" he barked.( no pun intended.)

Inuyasha was up next.

He went in, hating his dad for making him do this. He saw the lady and plopped himself down on the seat.

"Alright, whaddya want?"

"This form, I don't get it." she tapped a manicured nail on the form.

Inuyasha sighed. "Here's where you write your name, age, address, and phone number. Done? Swell, I'll just be going now….." he rattled these off in a very bored way and headed for the exit.

He was stopped by the lady saying, " I don't get it." in an incredibly thick stupid voice.

Inuyasha tried to help, he truly did. He asked, "Ok, what do you not get?"

She twiddled her thumbs. "Uh…all of it…."

He explained the form to her again.

After listening to the entire explanation, she said, " I don't get it."

"You have to……….and this is for writing your phone number."

"I don't get it."

"What do you not get?" Inuyasha struggled to combat his rising anger.

"I don't get it."

"I SAID, WHAT DO YOU NOT GET?"

"I don't get it."

"WHAT EXACTLY?" Inuyasha was yelling now.

"I don't get it."

"You stupid wench, what's wrong with it?" he asked dangerously.

"I don't get it."

"AGRH! STUPID wench with the brain the size of a peanut!"

"I don't get it!"

Inuyasha picked up the form, crumpled it, and threw it in the waste bin.

"What did you do that for?" she asked.

"Because you're not smart enough to fill out that form!"

"I don't get it."

"DAD! ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME MAD IN HERE?" Inuyasha screamed as he tore out of the cabin.

Inutashio smiled and whistled again.

Kagome stepped through the door.

"Alright, what do you require my existence for?" she drawled out.

The woman smiled and showed her the form.

Kagome, without pausing to even look at the woman, and barely breathe, "Ok ,this is where you write you full name, date of birth, address, country of birth, citizenship code or number whatever, health card number, mobile, home and office numbers. Here you write your personal status, read the form carefully before filling, sign at the bottom and have a nice day!" she let out a breath, flashed a smile and was out the door before the lady even had time to register what was going on.

Inutashio laughed as she came up to him and smiled again. "that's some nice goin' girl……explain then run away." Kagome smiled.

"I passed didn't I?"

"Yeah….you were supposed to rid the client of all problems and relevant questions……you didn't even let her talk! You pass!" he replied chuckling.

"Good." she said, and headed off to change.

He blew his whistle again and Kanna stepped in. She took one look at the smiling blonde lady, the form, and stepped out again.

She pulled her hand across her throat in a sign of 'I give up' and shouted, "She was emitting waves of stupidity!" _plus I don't want to turn out like him……(she looks at one of the senior officers who couldn't stop shivering and crying since coming close to this torture training again- they say that he has nightmares about this lady coming after him with her damn logic and annoyingness)_

Inutashio spluttered a bit and watched her retreating back into the common room.

He rolled his eyes, and blew his whistle again.

This time Sesshomaru stepped in.

He looked at the seat, and lowered himself elegantly in the chair.

The lady smirked to herself and decided to give him a special treatment.

She, being an expert actress, lost no time in welling up huge tears to her eyes, and looking at him with big doe eyes.

"What seems to be the problem?" Sesshomaru asked coldly, immediately disliking the look in her eye.

"Im sorry…." she wiped her eyes a bit, but then burst out crying. "…but it's just …….so…..hard!" she wailed. You could have seen Sesshomaru flinched.

He jumped behind his chair, and cried out, " Oh for the love of…" (a/n:- just imagine sesshy doing that…XD!)

But the lady kept on crying.

Now if Sesshomaru hadn't made up his mind to pass in this little training session, he would have walked out a long time ago. But unfortunately for him, he did.

So he grimaced and walked over to the lady.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to sound as nice as possible, coming across more like constipated.

"It's …..just ………..not……..fair!" the lady cried for no apparent reason, now crying into her desk.

He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Tell me the problem so I can try to fix it."

The lady pointed at the innocent looking form on the table.

Sesshomaru walked over to it.

"Oh, this? I'll show you how to fill this. No need to cry."

He lifted it up for her to see. Upon the form being put in her eyesight, she screamed and cowered behind Sesshomaru.

"THAT THING…..just winked at me!" She burst into tears again.

(a/n:- oh…dear…god!)

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow, first at the form, then at the lady. Then he lifted the form up further and asked, "What? This?"

" AHHHH! ITS TRYING TO EAT ME! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!" The lady screamed, clutching Sesshomaru's back.

He rolled his eyes and shook his fist at the camera he knew lead to his father's watching area.

"Look, lady. This form isn't going to do anything. Why don't you just fill it out?" He tried bringing it closer to her.

She screeched again. " AHHH! ITS TALKING TO ME! IT SAYS ITS GOING TO CHOP ME INTO LITTLE PIECES, PUT MUSTARD SAUCE ON ME, **AND EAT ME! SAVE ME MR.! SAVE MEEEE!**"

Sesshomaru glanced at the now hysterical lady cowering behind him, rolled his eyes and walked out the door.

Upon exiting the cabin, he shot his father dagger glares, and proceeded to the common room.

Inutashio was hysterical with laughter. " OH MY GOD…….that was hilarious!" he gasped out, still remembering how the lady had cowered behind Sesshomaru and screamed, 'Its gonna eat me!'.

The look on his face was priceless!

He put his whistle to his lips and blew it again, this time for Kagura to enter.

She raced in, and jumped on the chair with the enthusiasm of a bear with honey. Three minutes later she was as dull as a potato. ( seriously, who here thinks potato's are interesting, or lively?)

T

he lady was droning on, "So you know, once when my son was about three, that was three years ago, and he came across our family swimming pool for the first time. And surprisingly, he knew what it was! He came up to me and said, 'look mommy, it's a swimming pool!'

I mean isn't that so cute? Then he went and told everyone in my family what the swimming pool was, which was swimming pool of course! He even said it in a baby voice!" Kagura sat stony faced.

"Ms, what this have to do with your name?" Kagura interrupted before she could continue

"oh, my name? my first name is Annabelle! You know, my grandmother's mother predicted that I would be named that-where are you going?" she asked, for Kagura had suddenly stood up, out of her bored to death, story faced reverie.

" TO GET A FING LIFE WOMAN! SHEESH! B#! S&! YOU F#ING BASTRD! MORONIC RETARD!"

Kagura screamed at the woman, who sat calmly.

She exited the door walking backwards, sticking her tongue out, pointing her middle finger at the woman and saying many words that would skyrocket this fanfic's rating.

She whipped around, muttering, "b#!" and stormed off to the common room with her 'I'm pissed with the world' attitude that got her this cop offer in the first place, firmly switched on.

**START OF FLASHBACK**

Inutashio was sitting in his car looking for new recruits. He was tired, and hungry and still couldn't find anyone.

As stopped on a streetlight waiting for the people to pass, a certain lady caught his eye. She seemed to be pestered by a boy, who probably knew her quite well by the way he kept on poking her.

At first she kept a grim face but halfway in the middle of the road, she whipped around, kicked out his shin from under him, punched his face and kicked his fallen figure before stomping off.

This girl was defiantly in Inutashio's attention now. She seemed to be hanging on the side of the road, but when the signal was about to change to the cars moving, she ran back, flung the guy over her shoulder and dropped him on the ground on the side walk.

Inutashio parked his car and approached her. She had spunk, enough to be dangerous, but wasn't bloodthirsty. The perfect type of person required for his purpose.

"Good evening. My name is Inutashio, and I just saw you marvelous assault back there… who was he, a boyfriend?"

She nodded. He continued. "Anyways, if you're interested I would like to offer you this job offer, uh...ms……?"

"Kagura. My name is Kagura." she had said, and then accepted his offer.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Inutashio shuddered. " I would hate to be a crook when Kagura's in a mood."

Ayame, his secretary, nodded dumbly.

Inutashio raised the whistle to his lips for the final time today for Miroku to enter.

The woman looked him up and down and smiled. How easy he would be, she thought.

If only she knew how very very wrong she was.

Fifteen minutes, the score record, the door was flung open by not Miroku, but by Annabelle.

"ARGH! I'm am out of here!" she yelled.

Miroku leaned out of the door, and yelled, " Please reconsider my offer of dinner with you if nothing else!"

Annabelle slammed the completed form in Inutashio's hand, and to his surprised look, said, "He's abnormal! I tried EVRYTHING! he simply said, 'Oh my dear lady' and solved it for me without getting the least bit aggravated! And to top it off, he's pestering me for a date now! ARGH!"

Miroku caught up the lady and put his arm around her shoulders, "I am not pestering her! I have succeeded….right?"

She rolled her eyes.

"So……is Saturday night good? I hope you like Chinese….." he asked.

"ARGH….HIYA!" she karate chopped him in the gut, and punched him in the nose simultaneously. Needless to say, he dropped rather fast.

She crouched close to him on the ground, pulled his collar towards her face.

Miroku remarked. "You're one strange woman. First almost knock me out, then kiss me!"

She looked him straight in the eye and said murderously, "Don't ever mess with a lawyer, or you'll never live to tell it." she got up, kicked him one last time in the shin, and flashing a smile to Inutashio, huffed off.

"You're a lawyer? Its alright, I don't mind lawyers!" Miroku hollered after her.

She snorted. "I want a pay raise for dealing with that lech!"

"talk about feisty…" Inutashio muttered.

"Vicious!" Miroku corrected from his pose on the ground.

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Nice, isn't it?

I hope this was funny….I had a lot of fun writing it…

Please tell me which part you liked best!

By reviewing!

I told you it would be worth the wait!

-0mohni0


	4. The beginning of a feud

**Cop chronicles**

**The beginning of a feud**

"GO GO GO!" Inutashio was yelling himself hoarse.

they all ran into their vehicles and zoomed off one after the other.

Inuyasha was currently sharing a car with Naraku. "So…..what are we going to do again?" Naraku asked, trying to strike up a conversation, his head resting on his fist.

"I think I heard something about going to see a guy who has illegal weapons or something from dad…." Inuyasha replied, looking at the drivers seat.

Naraku tried again. "So…..why am I driving?"

Inuyasha replied annoyed, "I. don't. know."

He continued with gritted teeth. "Do. not. ever. talk. to. me. in. the. car."

"Oh boy… looks like someone's in a mood…." Naraku echoed while keeping his eyes firmly glued to the road.

Inuyasha was actually experiencing motion sickness. Since he refused to give up his macho-ness he tried to settle with his mood off. Better then vomiting at any rate.

"Oh no don't throw up don't throw up don't throw up…." he chanted under his breath to try and master the hot bile that was rapidly rising and scratching away at his throat.

_Damn the roads out in the country for being do damn winding, and damn Naraku for_

_driving so fast, and damn the humid weather…._

"Naraku….." he clenched his eyes shut.

"What's that?" Naraku looked up, surprised to see that Inuyasha was speaking after the behavior he displayed earlier.

"Stop the car." he said with as much deepness of voice he could muster. It wasn't much, but it enabled him to sound a tiny bit like his usual self from the squeaky voice his throat issued right now.

"What?"

"Stop the car!" he said a bit louder. Naraku took one look at his greenish face, eyes clenched shut and a thoroughly unpleasant look told Naraku he needed to stop. Now. Or be drowned in vomit in the car, which was, very naturally something he did not want to be doing.

Inuyasha got out of the car and staggered off in to the bushes nearby.

Naraku looked away.

He returned about ten minutes later, looking a teensy but less green, and began gulping down bottled of water.

"Good to go?" Naraku asked.

He nodded shortly and sat in the car.

"As fast as possible. Just go!" he ordered Naraku, who looked skeptical, but stepped on the pedal.

The car zoomed through the surroundings, a grey and green blurry scene.

And it was doing nothing to help poor Inuyasha's car sickness.

"Stop the car!" Inuyasha croaked softly again.

"What's that? Don't worry. We're almost there. Just about three minutes more." Naraku said, not really listening, too busy with his Ipod (a/N: I don't own an ipod or the company!)in his ears.

"Oh no….please…." Inuyasha whimpered. He grabbed the bottle of water and took a sip in hopes of drowning out the bile back down his throat.

Big mistake. Big mistake of Naraku not to stop too. A huge mistake of Naraku, also, to be sitting next to Inuyasha.

"Not gonna make-BLEHCH!"

"Ah! What the hell are you doing?" the swiveled to the side and made a crash landing off road in the bushes.

"What the hell?" Naraku said.

Inuyasha clutched his throat. "I told you to stop….." he croaked.

Naraku grabbed his hand. "I'm not saying this is! God, why the hell do you have to…."

"Well it's not my fault……..you're the one was supposed to stop anyway!"

"You didn't tell me to!"

"YES I did!"

"No, you didn't!"

"I did! You would have heard me if you weren't deaf!" Inuyasha snorted.

"Says he who gets sick on a fifteen minute journey!"

"Your driving is crappy!"

"Pft. You're just saying that because you're jealous YOU don't even have a license!"

"Do too!" Inuyasha yelled, horrified at his secret being found out.

" YOU are underage! YOU are only in this unit 'cause your dad is officer here! And YOU don't even know how to DRIVE! So why don't YOU STOP complaining about my driving and look at your underage self!" Naraku raged.

"Where the hell did learn….." Inuyasha whispered, mortified.

"I have my sources." Naraku said smugly.

"You freakish little sick bastard!" Inuyasha accused, his voice rising now.

"Oh yeah, call me all that, 'cause IM RIGHT, Mr. Filthy HYPOCRITE!"

Inuyasha snarled. "Me, a hypocrite? Hark who's talking! Know anyone who had an disallowed Iopd, and then pretends to be deaf?" he raised his eyebrows quizzically with false curiosity.

"Why you little…."

"Stupid son of a….."

And that's how Inuyasha came to hate Naraku in the first place.

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Half an hour later, and forty-five minutes later then planned, Naraku's and Inuyasha's car pulled up on the driveway of the house they were supposed to search.

Inuyasha had his arms crossed over his chest, and was staring away pointedly, with an annoyed expression firmly plastered on his face.

Naraku had his lips in a tight line, and there was a stretched uncomfortable oppressive silence generally hovering in the car, above the badly suppressed spell of vomit, and the suppressant, body spray.

Inuyasha bolted out of the car, and walked tightly to his father and brother, standing a bit apart form the rest of the group.

Inutashio wrinkled his nose and asked, "What took you two so long?"

Naraku replied dryly from the back, "Oh, we had the greatest fun! Inuyasha got sick,

TWICE, we had an accident and he was being an idiot the entire way!"

Inutashio rolled his eyes. "Ok, now really tell me."

"Believe it or not, the jackass IS telling the truth, except HE was the one being his real stupid self." Inuyasha replied.

Sesshomaru remarked, "Trust you to get motion sickness on a ten minute journey!" and stalked off to the other officers.

00000000000000000000000000000000

Ok…don't get on my back…yet. I know this wasn't that funny, but I was thinking of what to write and decided to put one of my stray ideas from 'reasons why Inuyasha and Naraku hate each other' here, cause it would fit perfectly.

Forgive me and wait for the next chapter. (bows)

Ok……I think I need coffee….(shakes her head and walks off to


	5. The door that woulden't go down!

**Cop Chronicles**

**The door that wouldn't go down**

"Alright, since we're all finally here, does any one want to start the investigation?"

There was a general roar, " NO!" and Kouga added. " We'd rather stand around eating doughnuts and drinking soda!"

"Very funny. Now in you go!" Inutashio commanded.

"Never does listen if tell him the truth, does he?" Kouga shook his head to signify how hopeless their commander was as they were rushed in the building.

It was a apartment building, slightly run-down, on one end there were a general suspicion of the intelligence that there were illegal weapons being held by some crazy psycho man who threatened to blow up the world if anyone came close to him. Hardly likely, but he did have arms and ammunition, along with a few bombs, as a frightened sales woman had reported to them, as she had went to his house to in hopes of selling one of her products.

"Open up! Police!" Inuyasha yelled through the door on the top floor of the stiflingly hot building. Wearing a thick bullet proof vest and black clothes didn't help.

By the time they were on the top floor, they all were sweating through their uniforms. And frankly, everyone stank. (except for Sesshomaru and the girls who HAD remembered to put on deodorant). The putrid stench was almost enough to make Inuyasha's poor already misused stomach have another go.

That would mean, in this unit, even the girls' perfumed scent couldn't mask that of the men running up with them. (Hakudoushi, Miroku, Kouga, and Naraku)

"Ahhhh…..no on home!" a gruff and as it seemed incredibly stupid voice replied.

" I can hear the someone is home, you just talked to me, right?" Inuyasha reminding the man. Silence for a bit then, a manical laughing voice come. " oh yeah, well, I'm not afraid of a little cop! You cant get me! I'd like to see you try!"

Inuyasha rapped the door to get his attention for the diabolical laughing. "That guy would put you to shame in evil laughs, you know?" Kanna prodded Naraku, known for practicing his evil laugh in front of everyone.

He shouted out. " Look, you stupid moronic troll, you can just shut the f& up and come the hell outside, 'cause I've been here for ten minutes already, and EVERYTHING HERE REEKS!"

More silence and some banging. "HaHA! I've barricaded the door! You can never get me now!"

And suddenly the hallway seemed even a smaller place with three girls and six guy crammed into it. Inuyasha yelled, sweat running down his face, " YOU STUPID BASTARD, JUST WAIT TILL YOU………………..GRRR…."

He backed off a little, and crashed his shoulder into the door. Once, and again, and again.

He ran back from his starting spot. " Damn this door is too thick to be shot, and there's an entire barricade behind it!"

Kagome approached nervously, " Uh…….Inuyasha….you'll end up-" CRACK

"knocking yourself out….." her voice trailed off.

Sesshomaru smirked. He smirked harder when Kouga agreed to take him downstairs. And even harder when his little brother proceeded to throw up on Kouga, and EVEN harder when Kouga danced around, yelling, " EWW! SICK! GROSS! GET IT OFF ME! GAH!!"

And if possible, even harder when Naraku muttered, "He's on a roll today for barfing on people…..Ain't he?"

He straight burst out laughing when his brother was left to the mercies of the girls because no other guy would try to touch him.

It took three of them to take him down. Why? One: Inuyasha's a very heavy guy, Two: they decided to tackled the stairs in pairs, so they had less of a chance of falling, and Three: Kanna didn't need to go, but she said it stank up there, and she was down the stairs before anyone could object.

Inuyasha groaned. _Today was not his day. He had thrown up, thrice, made two new enemies,(they were such bastards they deserved to be enemies though he reasoned), gotten himself knocked out by a door, and was now being carried downstairs by girls. Oh the humility. _

"What wrong with him?" Inutashio asked, as the paramedic team of three girls came running down the stairs, bouncing an almost unconscious Inuyasha on two of their backs.

"Uh……I think today isn't the poor guy's day.." Kagome explained.

"Could you take him home?" Inutashio asked. He had no desire to abandon his operation right now, or to take care of a sick Inuyasha, which he had learned could be quite grumpy.

"If you say so…" Kagome trailed off, and staggered over to her car, throwing Inuyasha in one seat and strapping the seat belt.

She sat beside him in the driver's seat and addressed his half closed eyelids. " Look, now, no throwing up on me, or in my car. Yes, this car IS mine, I bought it. Another thing, no falling on me while I'm driving, and don't be grumpy when you're sick."

She started the engine and whirled the car out of the apartment parking lot and on the deserted roads they had came from in no time.

She smiled at Inuyasha's face, slowly starting to turn less green. "Here. I think this'll help." She pressed a button, and at once, the top of the car began folding back.

"Wicked!" Inuyasha said. He still had this thing going with cars, the underage wanna-be drivers' love of cars.

"Yeah….." Kagome hummed, mainly to herself.

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BACK IN THE APARTMENT BUILDING

Kanna ran up the stairs with bottles of water in her hands. She gasped in surprise as she saw Sesshomaru calmly leaning against the wall, examining his nails while the rest of the unit was unconscious lying by the door.

She turned her eyes to him. "Don't ask." he growled and pointed at the door. It had dented and scratched and worn away from the poor shoulders from her poor fallen comrades, but it was still standing proud by their pitiful unconscious bodies.

She went up and knocked the door politely. " HA! I knew you couldn't get in, could you? Damn police!" a glee voice issued from inside.

Kanna put on a voice higher then her normal one and called out, " What are you speaking of, sir? I am here to distribute free cookies and chocolate brownies that your apartment owner has made for you all!"

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. _Like that guy would fall for THAT lame trick._

"Ok, tell me what it looks like in the hall!" the man ordered.

"Uh…it's just me and my female companion here, and everything else is ok." she raised her eyebrows at Sesshomaru in amusement of the expression he had on her calling him her 'female friend'.

_Hehe….. _She snickered in her mind.

"What? No officers, or nothing?" the man asked, confused. He certainly **was** a dim wit.

"Oh, no, of course not!" Kanna answered, her gun pointed at the place where his head to be when he opened it. Sesshomaru snorted. _Like that was ever going to happen! No man could be that stupid. _

It wasn't surprising then, that Kanna had to do the work while Sesshomaru just stood there, appalled, with his jaw dropped, when the door opened and Kanna backed the man into a corner.

"Where are brownies?" he addressed the girl who was currently putting handcuffs on him.

"Oh, that. The girl over there was handing them out." she pointed at Sesshomaru who tightened his lips with a glare and silently burning with anger, took the man down to the police cars.

She burst out with laughter and shook the person nearest to her, awake. It happened to be Miroku. " Oh, god! Miroku you should have seen his face when I told the man that Sesshomaru was a girl handing out brownies….."

"Say what? You got him?" he scratched his head. His jaw dropped when he saw the barricade cleared and the door opened.

"How the hell did you do that!?" he exclaimed.

"Chocolate power. Chocolate brownie power to be more exact. You all are stupid, you had to go and charge into the door. Didn't even one of you ask to open the door nicely?" Miroku was too stunned to answer.

He wobbled a bit on his feet, and then picked up Hakudoushi.

After hauling Hakudoushi on Kanna's back (he was the lightest of the guys) he picked up Naraku, leaving Sesshomaru to come and get sick splattered Kouga.

"You should have seen them all when they charged at the door!" Miroku laughed.

" Yeah, I'll expect to hear a it lot from Sesshomaru….once he gets over the brownie thing." she grunted and shifted Hakudoushi.

"So like, they cried battle cries before charging…..ah….it was great…."

**START OF FLASHBACK**

Naraku pushed himself to the front of all the officers and ordered them all to stay back. Avoiding Inuyasha on the ground, he cried, "**FOR WAR! AOUIAOUAOUAOIU**" he was in the middle of his screaming his wild savage war cry when he collided with the door and slumped to the ground.

Kouga growled. " Lemme at it!" he snarled and screamed his 'war' cry, " I'm a little tea cup, short and stout…..here is my handle, and you're going down-oof!"

(A/N:- BRILLIANT!)

Another one on the floor.

Now Hakudoushi and Miroku tried, also with their 'modified' war cry. _Hehe….._

It went something like..

"You know us, Hakudoushi and Miroku and we fight for what is wrong,  
We're tired of our motto so we thought we'd try a song,  
I'm JESSIE ( Miroku poses), I'm JAMES (Hakudoushi poses)  
The speed of light, prepare to fight,  
Meowth, that's riiiiiight!

I am the handsome one,  
And I'm the gorgeous one,

Looking good is lots of fun, ( Miroku adds 'I'm hot!')  
We get some things wrong  
but we keep rolling along!

We want to capture Pikachu, we hope to do it soon,  
And when we do, we'll be the new stars of this,  
Cartoon!

(fanfic. A/n: don't get on my back now…..besides, this song click any memories? Huh? falls over laughing)

There were sounds of snorting coming from inside the door now, as Miroku and Hakudoushi charged………THUMP

"Owie….." Miroku groaned as he slid into unconscious bliss.

The last thing he saw was disturbing. Sesshomaru was smirking and trying like hell not to laugh at their little 'victory' song.

Not a pleasant sight.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Kanna was in hysterics as she reached the bottom of the stairs and Miroku had finished his story. "Oh god……what is the world coming to?" she gasped as she stumbled with Hakudoushi towards a car, laughing so much she was close to collapsing.

"Kagura, where the hell did you go?" she intercomed her best friend.

"I ran away. Tell Inutashio I quit and eloped with Inuyasha. We're on a plane to Canada…..see ya!"

Kanna freaked.

"WHAT THE CRAP!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOUR MENTAL OR SOMETHING! INUYASHA? I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU? AFTER ALL WE DID FOR YOU! INUYASHA? WHY INUYASHA? INUYASHA?" she screamed into the intercom.

"Yeah, Inuyasa…..pft. He likes Canada and I've always wanted to go there too.."

Kanna yelled. "OH.MY.GOD. NO ONE IS GONNA BELIEVE YOU, you didn't even like Inuyasha that much!"

"Yeah, well I decided he looks cute while puking. Besides, we had this plan since I joined about two years ago! So screw and break the news."

" BUT KAGURA! IN-U-YAHSA! THIS IS IN-U-YASHA WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! INUTASHIO'S GODDAMN SON! HE RAN AWAY WITH MY BEST FRIEND! IN-U-YAHSA! IM GONNA KILL HIM! THAT BASTARD INUYASHA!"

Kagura "Yeah, well….uh….um……we kinda broke up……I threw him off the plane……now….…Inuyasha. He's with Kagome at home, I'm getting water behind the building and you're THE MOST gullible fool I've ever seen. Hehe….." the speakerphone cracked with laughter as a very pissed Kanna went to teach Kagura a lesson about freaking her out like that…..

" **KA-GUR-A!!**" she scremed bloody murder.

Kagura jumped behind the nearest shelter, which happened to be a newly awaken Hakudoushi. " Help me…god…" she whimpered. " Kanna is gonna kill me, oh god!" she said, praying for her safety when a amused Hakudoushi looked at her, cowering behind him.

"Well, well, well. Have you finally realized my god status?" he said, striking a Zeus pose.

Kagura pushed him over, groaned and went off to find shelter which didn't smell bad and have ego and personality defects. (ego problems and multiple personality disorder)

Hakudoushi chuckled as he witnessed Kanna come out, wishing Kagura a horrible slow painful death and proceeded to chase her around the building perimeters about ten times, until Inutashio split them and gave them both work to do. (one get him cookies, other get him chocolate milk)

And he didn't even know what exactly Kagura had done to Kanna…..he would ask her soon…… but from the screams he had heard about fifteen minutes ago, Kanna into her intercom, he was guessing it had to be good.

And it was. He asked Kagura on the way back to the home base, and he was laughing so hard that he couldn't drive straight.

"AND she BELIEVED IT? God…." he gasped, narrowly swerving the car onto the road after he had lost control for the fifth time today. He parked it on the side. " You drive…" he gasped. "Stitch in side hurts…..ow…"

Kagura rolled her eyes and switched seats with him to go home.

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Alright, I hope that was funny…..

PLZ REVIEW!  
FOR THE LOVE OF……ME AND YOURSELF!

DISCLAIMER:- I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA, ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN 'Inuyasha', THE 'I'm a little teacup' SONG, OR THE 'Pokemon team rocket song'.


	6. Jakotsu love!

**Cop Chronicles**

**Jakotsu the immensely lovestruck criminal**

"Put your hands up and get down on the ground!" Kagura yelled at a man surrounded by their unit.

"Drop the gun!" Inutashio hollered from his position right behind the man.

The man carefully dropped his gun. It hit with a crack on the cement.

"Everything you say WILL be used against you!" Inuyasha warned the criminal, tackling his to the ground with Kanna's help.

"It will?' the man looked curiously at Inuyasha, who nodded grimly and concentrated on those infuriating handcuffs.

"OK, then, My name is Jakotsu!" he chirped happily.

" I told you, everything you say will be used against you! Why the hell are are you talking?" Inuyasha growled, now very much pissed at the handcuffs.

" Yeah, I heard you darling, but I didn't think you could use EVERYTHING to my disadvantage!" Jakotsu called out from the ground.

Inuyasha growled as he surveyed Sesshomaru smirk at his new admirer. "Shut the hell up! You are under arrest! So stop talking you stupid...GAH!"

Kanna looked smugly at Inuyasha's aggravated features.

"NO! I have a right to talk! And I WILL! And you can't use what I'm talking about, against me!" Jakotsu yelled, eying Miroku.

"YES WE CAN!" Izayoui screeched at Jakotsu, who was now grating on her nerves.

"Oh yeah?" Jakotsu asked. He leaned over towards Miroku and said, "I think you're an awfully sexy cop...use that against me!" Miroku spluttered, while Kanna and Kagome, close enough to hear, burst into laughter.

He eyed Miroku again. "and I'm not just saying that because you can't use it against me... how about getting you're cute comrade off me and going for a drink?" Inuyasha pushed Jakotsu into the ground with a painful death written all over his face.

Jakotsu, however, didn't let this put a damper on his parade. (being surrounded by awfully handsome cops...)

"Aww! Isn't that cute? I'll give you some other examples of stuff you CAN'T use against me!"

He looked over Sesshomaru, now shaking with laughter. " I think that guy would look much better as a girl...no kidding!" Sesshomaru growled and his amusement turned into anger. But before he do anything, though, Izayoui was standing over Jakotsu with murder written over her face. " What did you just say to my son?!" she screeched.

Jakotsu looked up and sighed. " god, typical b problems..."his face was pushed into the cement. This time it was Inutashio standing with his boot on Jakotsu's skull.

Off to the side, however, Kagome and Kagura were about to fall down with laughter. " OH MY GOD!" Kagome gasped through her giggle fits.

"I like doughnuts, and YOU CAN'T USE THAT AGAINST ME!" Jakotsu yelled. Inuyasha sighed and muttered some incoherent curses at the handcuffs as well as Jakotsu.

"Inuyasha, how long it is going to take to get the handcuffs on?" Sesshomaru asked, steaming, wishing to all stars that Inuyasha would let him take over Jakotsu for now, so he could beat the shit outta him.

"Inuyasha, why don't you give me the little bastard right now?" he asked, his arm itching to crash on a certain person's warped skull.

"Oh NO! I don't want that chick coming over! Why doesn't he come? I'd rather have on me!" Jakotsu complained, pointing to a furiously blushing/pissed Miroku. He narrowed his eyes at Jakotsu and was preparing to kick the hell out of him, when he felt something quivering against his leg. He looked down to see Kanna, red faced, cradling her gun, and unable to stifle her laughing. " Oh god...Sesshomaru a chick?" she gasped, as Miroku rolled his eyes at her.

Kagome walked over to Jakotsu, on the ground. " You know what?" she asked Jakotsu, who was clearly looking disgusted at being in the close presence of a female. " I think we are starting to like you... I haven't laughed so hard since Inuyasha got his tongue stuck to a frozen pole in the winter..." Inuyasha looked embarrassed at the mentioning of this degrading event while Jakotsu beamed. "It's alright, darling! We have our embarrassing moment now and then!" he smiled at Inuyasha, who deliberately drove his knee into Jakob's back.

"OK, anyways, as I was saying, there are a lot of things you cant use against me!" Jakotsu continued, oblivious at how how pissed he was making a few cops around and on him.

"like, the fact that I think Pantene is a better shampoo then Sunsilk!" Sesshomaru looked horrified. ( He used Sunsilk) (I own neither Pantene nor Sunsilk)

"SHUT UP!" he roared at Jakotsu, still without handcuffs. "Aww..it's alright chick! Don't ruin your makeup over that!" Sesshomaru was officially ready to blow.

"OK, I've had enough!" Hakudoushi jogged over.

"AH shut up! Anyways, I think I forgot to flush the toilet the last time I went to the bathroom..." he said thoughtfully. Inuyasha jumped off him, looking disgusted.

Jakotsu took liberty of the momentarily freedom and thrusting his legs under him and sprinted off to freedom. Too bad he got distracted by Kouga. Approaching him, he leaned over and whispered, "Now that I see you closer, you're not bad looking either..." he trailed off thoughtfully as Hakudoushi and Kouga pounced on him at the same time, the three rolling into a big heap of withering flesh, two of the three trying to beat the crap out of the third, who just dodged, and smiled sweetly.

In the middle of the dust storm, Naraku jumped in. Unfortunately for him, he was right close to where Jakotsu jumped next to dodge a punch thrown by a murderous Kouga. He was actually quite good dogging, actually finding time to shout out comments like, "Oh, sweetie, you know you don't want to hit me!" , "Hit me baby one more time!" or "Missed me sexy!" (AN:i do not own that mine. It is from a song of Britney Spears.)

Jakotsu leaped by Naraku , and eying him, put his hand out in front of Hakudoushi and Mirkou. In their surprise, they actually paused for a minute, giving time to Jakotsu to announce, "You know what? I think this guy is WAY more handsome then all of you!" Naraku looked around, dumbstruck. Who me?

Jakotsu smiled seductively and leaning over gave Naraku a kiss on the cheek, batting his eyelashes.

(a/n: LOL! LMAO! THE HUMANITY!)

Time froze. The first ones to snap out of the trace were the girls, all immediately collapsing and laughing their wits out on the cement.

Inuyasha stopped 'eww'ing from the bathroom comment, and his jaw dropped to match Miroku's and Sesshomaru's. Izayoui was on the ground with the girls, and Inutashio was too shocked to do anything except for freeze in place. A random fly flew into Kouga's mouth, who spit it out, gagged, and then broke the spell.

Hakudoushi and Kouga began to stir. Jakotsu saw this as his chance, and taking Naraku's gun right out of his limp hand, pointed it at Kanna. "A step further and she dies!" he threatened. He wouldn't dream of killing any one of the guys.

Kanna, although still laughing, was too quick for him. She rolled over and held her gun at him, at the ready, giving Kagome, Izayoui, and Kagura time to draw their guns and point it at the very amusing villain.

The guys were STILL to shocked to do anything.

Naraku, now with anger bubbling inside him, wrenched the gun out of Jakotsu's grip.

" You could have asked, sweetie!" Jakotsu smiled sweetly at a murderous Naraku, who just gave a war cry and tackled Jakotsu to the ground, just as Hakudoushi and Kouga, closest to him, moved in for the kill.

Kagome stopped them. Pointing a gun at the feisty criminal, she yelled, half laughing, "You know what? I think we girls can handle this case!" the guys gave her hate glances, to which she laughed, as she wrenched them off Jakotsu.

"Now now! Don't kill the poor guy!" she chided.

"Poor guy? I'm in heaven!" Jakotsu corrected her, glancing the three highly attractive guys on top of him, disregarding the fact that they were actually trying to kill him.

Kagome laughed as she sat on his back, with a giggling Kagura bringing handcuffs.

Her hand accidentally brushed against Jakotsu's hair.

He freaked. " AHH! My hair's falling out! Use THAT against me!"

Kanna giggled.

"Ah yes," Jakotsu continued " my list!"

He eyed the male members of the unit, now huddled to the side, giving him death glares. (except for Naraku, who was running around maniacally, looking for antiseptic and water to wash his face)

" Yeah, I forgot to play my video games today... can't use that against me, can you?" he challenged a giggling Kanna.

"No, we can't..." she admitted.

"Hey... you know what? I think this has been the funniest mission EVER!" Kagura cheered, patting Jakotsu's head. " Oh god, we have learned to love you!"

Jakotsu looked disgusted.

"You're so damn funny!" Kagura completed.

"Yeah... this was fun... you sure are lucky, with such damn hot unit members!" Jakotsu chattered on, forgetting that most people didn't think of the day they get arrested as 'fun'.

He joked all the way to the police car, much to the delight of the girls. (except for Izayoui who was itching to give this guy a piece of her mind)

When about to hop(Yes, hop. Talk about optimistic) into the police car, the other unit members approached, hate clouding their visions.

Kouga approached first, but was stopped by physical contact by Kagome. "Alright, little jackass. You're going off to jail, and I couldn't be more happy." he stalked off to join the group off to the side.

Miroku was next. "YOU NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, YA HEAR? STAY THE f AWAY FROM ME!" he screamed in Jakotsu's ear.

One by one, all of the members of the unit approached and gave their disrespects to Jakotsu, who just looked dreamily at all of them.

Only Inutashio and Naraku were left in the end.

Naraku, now haven washed his face about a few hundred thousand times, was simmering. "YOU STUPID BASTARD! I HOPE YOU GO TO HELL!"

He stomped off to the side, the current meeting place of the male members of the unit.

"When you walk away,

I count the steps you take...

until you see how much I need you...

when you're gone,

the pieces of my heart are missing you..." Kagome looked down to see Jakotsu singing.

She withered in laughter as Naraku turned around, cussed loudly at Jakotsu, and stomped off, still seeing red.

Jakotsu sighed good humoredly. "Oh well. That's another one!" Kanna and Kagura joined Kagome in laughing their heads off.

Inutashio watched from the distance and shook his head. He didn't even want to get any closer to that particular guy.

As Kagome pushed Jakotsu into the cab, Kanna, giggling, trying to imitate Jakotsu , leaned over to him, and whispered "Now that I look closer, you're not bad looking either..." and poked him squarely in the chest. Jakotsu whimpered as Kagome, Kanna, and Kagura burst into laughter.

" SAVE ME!" he yelled out of the window to the closest liked person, happening to be Inutashio. " HEY! MR.HANDSOME COP! THE ONE WHO WOULD LOOK CUTE IN A MINISKIRT! HELP! THESE CHICKS ARE SURROUNDING ME!" Inutashio was just about to go and finally relieve his itching fists, when Izayoui beat him to it and snarled, "No one talks like that about MY husband!"

Inutashio turned and accompanied the guys hiding in one of the police cars.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF INUYASHA WITH A BRAID are they doing?" Sesshomaru looked disbelievingly at the girls, now signaling them that they wanted to ride with Jakotsu.

"You know what? This guy too funny and handsome to miss! A real ladies man!" Kagome announced, much to disappointment of Jakotsu, who had been secretly been hoping to ride to jail with Naraku or Miroku.

"THE LADIES ARE WELCOME TO HIM!" they all yelled at the same time and watched a chuckling Kagome get in the drivers seat, and spin away, with Izayoui, Kanna, Kagura, and their source of entertainment, Jakotsu in the back seat.

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ah god! THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN! JAKOTSU, WE LOVE YOU! Seriously, no one else got that many funny looks outta my mom (on account of my silent laughing).

I would have fell over too, but I didn't want to break my laptop, so I'm sitting on the carpet... smart me!

REVIEW AND TELL ME JAKOTSU IS BRILLAINT AS WELL AS HANDSOME! (he really is..)

DISCLAMER: I do not own Avril Lavinge's song 'When Your Gone', Inuyasha, or any of Britney Spears songs.


	7. Mayhem in a Hospital

**Cop Chronicles**

**Mayhem in a hospital**

"So, there is a patient named 'Hakkaku Ginta', not?" Miroku leaned over and asked the pretty secretary of the hospital they all were in. Their appearance had caused quite a commotion, especially considering how quiet this out-of-the-way private hospital was normally. Apparently that's what the robber thought as he allowed himself to come here for treatment of his recently smashed arm.

Inuyasha had been chasing him, Hakkaku tripped and fell, but only after twisting in midair and taking down Inuyasha with him. As it turned out, Inuyasha's full weight landed on his shoulder, squishing it to the ground, and breaking the bone in the process.

Kagome put her boot on Miroku's bent back, and pressed slightly. He looked back, gulped and immediately gave up trying to flirt with the secretary as he gathered information.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir but we don't have any name 'Hakkaku Ginta'. If you are sure he is in the hospital premises, you are welcome to look around!" she smiled helpfully.

"Ok, we're going to search this place. He may be armed, keep you guns at the ready." Inutashio turned around to face his officers.

"Alright, Inuyasha and Kanna take the far west side, Sesshomaru and Kagura go to simple west, Kagome and Kouga go together to the far east, Naraku and Hakudoushi go simple east, and me, Izayoui, and Miroku will search the main building. Radio me in if you find anything interesting."

As the rest sprinted away to their destinations, he called, "And don't go around scaring children and elderly! Especially you Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha smirked. "Damn." he cursed as Kanna laughed.

"Why do you hate people so much anyways?" she asked, smiling.

"Uh...no idea really. Kids are annoying, oldies talk too much, and everyone in between is just peachy." He replied, his eyes skirting down the long aisle of doors that represented their wing.

"You take the left side!" he told Kanna, who nodded.

**WITH SESSHOMARU AND KAGURA**

Sesshomaru panted hard. He was already done five rooms, and was out of breath. Not to say they hadn't been interesting. As if.

There were three people who were sleeping, one was in a coma, and the last had been having his tea. Marvelous. He threw open the next door, and balked. He backtracked his path, closing the door with an apologetic smile on his face as a woman's shriek came from inside.

"What's wrong?" Kagura gasped.

Sesshomaru stood frozen in place. Then very slowly he turned to look up at the ceiling and shook his fist at it. "Damn you! Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

Kagura raised her eyebrow, leaning on one leg.

"Erase erase erase erase erase" Sesshomaru chanted, banging his head against the wall slowly.

A pudgy middle aged woman threw open the door, glaring at a gulping Sesshomaru. "Officer, asking before you open the door especially in a woman's room, is common courtesy, you know!"

She put her hand's on her wide hips and glared daggers at Sesshomaru, who just looked sheepishly then gulped, and ran off, eyebrow twitching.

"uh...about that..." Kanna trailed off and chased after her comrade.

**WITH NARAKU AND HAKUDOUSHI**

"No! Who do you think you are, questioning me like that?" the ninety year old woman screamed at Hakudoushi and Naraku, now standing side by side with their heads down.

"Look at yourselves! Just because your all decked out in weaponry doesn't mean you can talk to citizens that way! What impertinent children! I would be ashamed to raise you!"

Naraku bowed his head even more. Damn this woman was good at lecturing!

"You are here to serve the citizens, and you act rudely? How dare you?" she shook her purse at them threateningly.

Hakudoushi grinned sheepishly. "Why do you think your smiling at young man?" he lost the expression immediately. "Am I cracking jokes here? Is this lecture of no importance to you? And you call yourselves helpers of the citizens? Wipe that grin off your face this instant!" the lady shook her cane at them.

Hakudoushi, with much trouble, managed to get his face into a somewhat normal position. It wouldn't do for the lady to get mad (even more then right now) and chase them all over the hospital in her senior-citizen-scooter trying to kill them with her cane, shouting, "Come back you two naughty children! How dare you? Stand attentive!"

Too bad that's what happened next.

**WITH KAGOME AND KOUGA**

"And you shall be cursed for all eternity for disrupting this Magika sorceresses sleep! I shall rest assure that you will regret the day you crossed my path, you impertinent pups! From today onwards, you shall be plagued with bad luck, and shall never be relieved. Go! Go, pray to your god, but it have no effect on my curse, for I am Magika, the powerful sorceress from the line of state sorceresses and wizards, descending back from the time of imperial courts!" A eighty-ish year old woman in a frilly pink nightgown(think wolfram for kyo kara moah...XD!) raved at the two officers who had dared to peek through her door.

Kouga rolled his eyes. "Old woman, in the nicest possible way, shut up and tell me if you saw anyone looking like this!" He flashed a picture at her face but her eyes were closed.

"Be gone fool, and now you shall be the main aim of my curse!"

"Ok, that's enough!" Kagome whispered fiercely and tried to dragged Kouga out of the room before he had a chance to retort to the old witch's raving.

"Damn, that's just not fair! Just 'cause she'd old and we can't yell at her doesn't mean she starts making our lives hell!" He argued as Kagome exited the room, partially holding the door open for him.

He let his arms dangle, feeling angry at his inability to fight back. The door swung back. WHAM!

Kagome whipped around to see Kouga with a broken nose, lying on the ground, the heavy door having blood splattered on it, and the old lady cackling away madly. Bad luck indeed...

**WITH INUTASHIO, IZAYOUI, MIROKU AND A RANDOM NURSE**

"I wonder if they're alright.." Inutashio mused.

Izayoui comforted her husband. "Come on dear! They are officers for heaven's sake! They'll be fine!"

"I hope so..." he trailed off, rubbing his head as he checked another door.

He pressed the intercom. "MIROKU! Get the hell over here!"

Miroku came running, slightly blushing.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, eyebrow furrowed.

"Uh..looking for Hakkaku?" Miroku offered lamely.

"Down a nurse's throat?" he tapped his foot.

Miroku reddened slightly. "Ahh...yeah...about that..."

Inutashio glared.

Miroku smiled sheepishly. "I got a name, phone number, kiss and date in five minutes. You can't blame me!" (a/n: the nurse was probably one of his fan girls in disguise...)

Inutashio's eyes widened. "Wow. That's fast."

Izayoui stomped over. "But of course, honey I was only joking!" he stammered as she dragged him off to check some more doors.

**WITH INUYASHA AND KANNA**

"Damn."

"Shit."

"Crap."

"F&"- HEY! Whaddya do that for?"

Kanna stood over Inuyasha with a chair in her hand, and a rapidly forming lump on Inuyasha's head.

"We are currently in the CHILDREN'S wing, maybe?"

"SO?" Inuyasha shouted.

"NO SWEARING!" she banged him on the head again, much to the delight of the children who laughed and whooped.

"That's why I'm SWEARING! I HATE KIDS!"

"Whatever Inu-puppy!" Kanna mocked, and dragged a pouting Inuyasha to the next corridor.

**WITH SESSHOMARU AND KAGURA**

"OH crap." Was the one phrase Sesshomaru had for the current turn of events. Kagura clung to him, not from fear, but from laughter as she was dragged through the hallways as Sesshomaru sprinted through. After a few minuted Sesshomaru decided that she was slowing him down, and he swooped down and picked her up bridal style, and continued to run for who-knows-what reason.

He glanced down to the girl now quivering and quacking in his arms. Her face was red with laughter and after every few minutes she would gasp out "Ohhhgoddd..." and then burst out laughing again. She was so busy laughing that she didn't even notice how she was in Sesshomaru arms, he was running around with her there, and she was leaning back on his chest, with her arms around his neck, causing him a lot of discomfort ( causing him to redden slightly ).

Behind him, there was an incredibly fast turquoise hospital gown clad blur.

"YOUHOOOOO!" it called. "Come on Sesshy baby! Where you taking her?"

He twisted his head partially. "Shove off!"

She cackled. "Oh you even forgot my name now, love?"

Kagura turned around partially to see who exactly they were running from. There was a young lady, with black hair, tied loosely with bangs across her forehead, brown eyes, and a slim delicate figure.

Sesshomaru wriggled his eyebrows. "If I tell you your name, and tell once again that I don't love you, and you're not my girlfriend anymore, never were, will you go away?"

she smirked.

"I'll take that as a no, Kikyou!" he sprinted away gracefully with kagura looking at his chin from below.

Previous girlfriend?" she asked.

He shook his head grimly and looked over his shoulder to see Kikyou still hot in pursuit.

"She wasn't even my girlfriend!" he said hoarsely. " I dated her sister for what, a month, two years ago, and now she's all wacko over me!"

"Ooh..." Kagura said. "Can you put me down?"

He nodded he and began to slow down. As she hopped out of his arms, Kikyou charged in from behind, and unable to stop super speed self in time, she spiraled out of control and slammed CRASH straight into Sesshomaru's bent back (which was bent to let Kagura down). His eyes widened as he proceeded to fall on top of Kagura, and Kikyou on top of him.

Kikyou let out a whimper of pain. " I think I broke my leg..." she gasped, sprawled across Sesshomaru's back.

Kagura yelled, muffled from underneath him. "Gerroff me! Your squishing me!"

"Kikyou, get off me this instant!" Sesshomaru ordered, to which she only responded with more whimpers of pain. "I can't move... my leg.."

Kagura pushed at Sesshomaru's arm, which was currently covering her face. She sighed in relief when she could breathe again. "Kikyou, get the hell off us!" she shouted, to which Kikyou only closed her eyes.

"I can't." she said after a moment of silence.

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This is half of this chapter! Wait for it, the second part is funner then this! Well, tell me how it was! Don't keep me in suspense here! (begs and grovels for the better part of an hour)


	8. Mayhem in a Hospital Part 2

**Cop Chronicles**

**last chapter continued...**

_Last time...he nodded he began to slow down. As she hopped out of his arms, Kikyou charged in from behind, and unable to stop super speed self in time, she spiraled out of control and slammed CRASH straight into Sesshomaru's bent back(to let Kagura down.) His eyes widened as he proceeded to fall on top of Kagura, and Kikyou on top of him._

_Kikyou let out a whimper of pain. " I think I broke my leg..." she gasped, sprawled across Sesshomaru's back._

_Kagura yelled, muffled from underneath Sesshomaru. "Gerroff me! Your squishing me!"_

"_Kikyou, get off me this instant!" Sesshomaru ordered, to which she only responded with more whimpers of pain. "I can't move... my leg.."_

_Kagura pushed at Sesshomaru's arm covering her face. She sighed in relief when she could breathe again. "Kikyou, get the hell off us!" she shouted, to which Kikyou only closed her eyes._

"_I can't." she said after a moment of silence._

NOW...

"Oh great!" Sesshomaru let out sarcastically.

The three sat...ahem...lay there in silence.

"What the hell were you in here for anyways?" Sesshomaru asked the woman on his back.

"I had a hundred and five fever a day ago.." she admitted.

"AND YOU"RE RUNNING AROUND TODAY?" he let out in shock.

She smiled sheepishly. Kagura muttered, "Talk about fast recovery..."

"YOU need to get back in bed, and now you have a broken leg too! Great!" she adressed Kikyou, who nodded, sweat drops beginning to form on her forehead.

"Kikyou...your getting a fever again aren't you?" Sesshomaru asked with a slight attitude.

She nodded slowly. " WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO RUN? I can feel you emitting heat waves from here! Your too hot!"

Kikyou smiles weakly. "Normally I would take that as a compliment.."

"Stop talking."

"Hey! Don't yell at her! She'll only get worse!" Kagura chided. She would have felt Kikyou's forehead if she wasn't pinned underneath two very heavy people right now.

"Hey, Sesshomaru? Can you reach my thingamigigy?"

"Say what?"

"The intercomthinganmigy!"

"I dunno...it would help if a certain person got off me!" he gave Kikyou a dirty glance.

Kagura rolled her eyes. "Then MAYBE you wouldn't be on top of me in the first frikin' place!"

"Wait I think I...can get it.." Kikyou let out weakly and struggled to get her hand over to Sesshomaru's intercom. She pressed a random button. A scratching sound was heard.

She began speaking. "Uh...excuse me this is Kikyou-" Sesshomaru cut her off as he yelled over his shoulder. "We need help here over! No, there is no sign of Hakkaku, just send someone over!"

"This is so damn annoying."

"Well who's telling you to be here?" Kagura asked, annoyed.

"I wouldn't be here if Kikyou wasn't lying on me with a broken leg and a damn fever!"

"Well EXCUUUSE ME!" Kikyou shouted. "You should stop by if you see someone in a hospital bed, you know!"

"And when your in a hospial bed, you don't get up and chasing the other person and a hundred and thirty miles per frikin' hour!" he shot back.

Kagura sighed, then yelled. "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU TWO!"

They shot her annoyed glances.

"Look, Sesshomaru why don't you continue your little lovers quarrel when YOUR NOT ON TOP OF ME?"

"Lovers quarrel?" he fumed.

Kikyou grimaced and shouted back. "Well, pardon my intrusion! If you two wanted to fall and lie on each other, do it! See if I care!"

"Fall?"Kagura scoffed. _You pushed us!_

Footsteps. Miroku appeared, panting. As soon as he saw the scene, his lips curved into a perverted smiled that made Sesshomaru shudder.

"So... group kiss or something dddiiiirrrtttyyyyy?" he smiled a perverted smile.

Sesshomaru fumed, and Kagura glared daggers.

Miroku laughed them off, and switched off Sesshomaru's intercom. (which meant that everything they had been saying uptil now, Miroku had been listening.)

"You do know how much advantage I have over you right now...right, two timer Sesshomaru?" he winked at Sesshomaru and grinned roguishly. Then he quoted, "'look, Sesshomaru why don't you continue your lovers quarrel when your not lying on top of me!' And, ' if you two wanted to fall and lie on each other, do it!'. Man you are deep shit..." he grinned again.

Sesshomaru groaned. Of all people Kikyou could have intercomed it HAD to be this pervert. _Damn his luck!_

Kagura had had enough. "MIROKU YOU FRIKIN' SON OF A #, GET THE HELL OVER HERE AND HELP!" she screamed. Unfortunately right next to a certain person's ear.

"DAMN IT KAGURA! SHUT UP!" he yelled back.

"HOW DARE YOU?" she thundered.

"STOP YELLING RIGHT NEXT TO MY EAR, WOMAN!" he hollered.

"OH, SO NOW YOU EVEN FORGET MY NAME, MR.MY-PRECIOUS-EARS-HURT?"

"WHY YOU--"

"WHHADYA GONNA DO BASTARD?"

"SHUT UP!"

"GET THE HELL OFF ME, RETARD!"

A man opened a door nearby and yelled, "I heard that!" and slammed it shut huffily

"Oookkkayy...that was random..." Miroku muttered, gently picking Kikyou up off Sesshomaru. She cursed in pain as her leg was jolted slightly by the movement.

Meanwhile, Kagura and Sesshomaru were still having their shouting match.

"Don't you think I haven't been trying for the last however many hours?" Sesshomaru asked stingily.

Kagura was just about to give a nasty retort when Miroku stood there smiling, and said, "Smile please!" and with a few clicks, he had a few very dangerous pictures on his police camera.

Kagura stared at him. "What. Did. You. Do?" she asked murderously.

He chirped happily. "I took a few pictures of you in that pretty pose!" then he must have had an invisible brain transplant with Einstien, because he suddenly noticed the lethal looks he was receiving from two very pissed people and decided to run as fast as his legs could carry him.

Which of course, left Sesshomaru (who was so busy shouting at Kagura he didn't notice that Kikyou was off of him and already in her room) and Kagura to scream aggrievedly. "ARRRGHHHHHH! MIIII-ROOOOO-KUUUUUUU!! GET BACK HERE!!"

**WITH NARAKU AND HAKUDOUSHI**

Naraku skidded to halt, panting hard. He whipped around a corner and gasped. "I...think...we...lost...her.."

Hakudoushi nodded, sweat trailing down his face, and dropped to the ground as he bent over trying to catch his breath.

"THERE YOU ARE YOU INSOLENT CHILDREN!"

"AAAAAHHHH!!" they broke out into a desperate sprint again with the raving old lady on her scooter, waving her cane, hot on their heels.

**WITH KAGOME AND KOUGA**

They had been running for the past ten minutes straight at full speed. Kouga was a mess, and Kagome was holding him up from one shoulder, was only slightly better. He was drenched wet, his nose still broken and bleeding, a needle stuck into his arm, his clothes ripped and torn, and as dirty as one could possibly imagine. He was hardly recognizable. He also happened to smell vile, probably to the green goey substance covering his leg.

Kagome ran into Inutashio. Literally. She and Inutashio were in luck however, (or Kouga was just unlucky) momentarily experiencing a loss of balance while Kouga slipped on the shiny floors and went rocketing into a conveniently placed wall. He slid to the ground, utterly exhausted, and utterly unrecognizable.

"Uhh..Kagome..who's that person?" He didn't even say 'guy' for fear of being mistaken. He was pretty sure it was a male, dressed in his unit's uniform no less, but his long ( now filthy) ponytail threw him off. Despite having a ponytail himself, he knew that most ponytails belonged to girls.

"It's Kouga who pissed off a old witch who cursed him and then he ran into a door and broke his nose, slipped on the wet floor and crashed headfirst into a wall, got captured by a nurse who thought he was a patient and tried to inject him something, got caught in a crossfire with a mother and a child who refused to drink his vile smelling medicine, so he threw it on him, got a bucket of soapy water spilled on him from a balcony, then he slipped and fell into a muddy patch, got chased by dogs 'cause they happened to like how he smelled like medicine and then now crashed into a wall!" she let out in one breath, then sighed.

"The day really has been tough on the poor guy.."

Inutashio's eyes widened considerably. "Tough?" he asked.

"Wait a minute...what were you doing all this time?"

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Oh I was just standing there laughing at his misfortune!"

Kouga spoke up, grimacing and rubbing his shoulder. "No shit!"

**WITH IZAYOUI AND MIROKU**

"Oohh! Chocolate!" Miroku exclaimed as he opened another room. There was an entire heap of chocolate piled by a little boy's bed, who seemed asleep.

"Miroku, lets go!" Izayoui tugged at his sleeve, trying to distract a chocolate love crazy cop. "No way! I won't eat it, I promise! I'll just wake the kid up and ask for the guy we're looking for!"

Izayoui shook her head violently but Miroku was already shaking the boy awake. "Miroku, he's IN A HOSPITAL! You don't wake people up in a hosp-" Her jaw dropped as the boy opened his eyes slowly, blinked a few times, and then sat up upright in one fluid motion, punching Miroku in the face. He stood still in shock. The boy looked at her, smiled sweetly and yawned. "Oh did I do that?" he asked, covering his mouth again for a yawn.

Izayoui immediately ran over to Miroku, on the floor. "I told you not to wake him up!"she hissed. Turing around and giving a large smile, "Uh..well...I think we'll be going now. I apologize for disturbing you!" she turned to exit but the boy stopped her.

"Excuse me, pretty lady? Could you play stay here for some more time? I would like someone to talk to!" he asked sweetly.

Izayoui cooed in her mind. _He was so sweet!_ "Of course dear!" and she sat down the chair next to the bed.

"chocolate?" he offered.

Izayoui smiled and accepted the offer.

Miroku hobbled over. The boy narrowed his eyes at him. "You woke me up. I don't like you." he turned his nose up in the air. Miroku looked at him in disbelief. The nerve!

"Leave in ten seconds." Miroku gaped as the boy began counting down on his fingers. When it was two, he started to laugh and said, "Well, sorry for waking you up kiddo, but you see I'm a police officer and we really must be going-"

"-you're not gone yet." the boy interrupted. He slowly got out of bed, pushing away Izayoui's concerns. Walking up to Miroku, he calmly started carting him out the door.

Miroku started to stammer. "W-w-what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm helping you get out." the child replied offhandedly.

Izayoui sat still in shock. Wither Miroku was incredibly light or the kid was Hercules. Or a mixture of the two. Miroku was being completely overwhelmed!

"So...sorry for the interruption." he smiled pleasantly at Izayoui and sat down on the bed, leaving Miroku to gasp and bend over in hopes of catching his breath.

"What's you name?" he asked to a shocked Izayoui. Izayoui, now over her shock, slapped the kid on the back, and laughed. "Wow, your strong! My name is Izayoui by the way. What's your name?"

The child smiled at Izayoui innocently again, and melted her heart. _Aawwww! He's so cute!_

**WITH INUYASHA AND KANNA**

"Good day!" a white lab coated doctor greeted them as they rounded the corner.

"Good day my foot!" Inuyasha grumbled, still grumpy because he had been dragged out of the last door due to his swearing.

The doctor's eyes skirted down to Inuyasha's gun. He gasped as flash memories of a gun in his hands hit him full force.

He steadied himself with some difficulty and smiled at Kanna. "My name is doctor Suikotsu. Pleased to meet you."

(A/N: DUN DUN DUN DAUUUNNN! Hehe... Why, you ask? Why? Because I love the Band of Seven. Well...Bankotsu, Jakotsu and Suikotsu. Therefore, I have added Suikotsu.)

"Please to meet you too, doctor." Kanna turned around and prepared to leave.

No...refuse..deny...I didn't do it...I don't want to...I want...I don't want..I WANT POWER!

In fluid motion surprising motion, he grabbed Kanna's belt and ripped it off, with her gun still attached. "What the-?"

He stared at the gun in his hands and his eyes tined red slightly. "Yes..." he laughed. Inuyasha drew his gun and pointed it at the crazed doctor.

"Yay! I HAVE A WATER GUN!" Suikotsu chanted and pointed it at Kanna. "hey! Wanna get wet?" he asked.

Kanna shivered. "Uhh...Doctor Suikotsu? That's a real gun...are you alright?" she asked. If the crazed doctor decided to for laughs to press the button, she would suffer. Hurray for bulletproof vests...but the head and the rest of the body? She watched Inuyasha inch closer to the back to the doctor, wanting to tackle him. He couldn't use his gun if the doc was clearly mental.

A nurse in a tight blue skirt rounded the corner. She immediately put on a disapproving face and wrenched the gun out of Suikotsu's grip. "Now Suikotsu! You ran away form your bed again! Pretending to be a doctor again?" she 'tsk'ed.

The Crazed One shook her off. " I AM DOCTOR EVIL! RUN FROM ME! MUWHAHA!" the nurse rolled her eyes. "Alright Mister, lets get you back to your room."

"As if! I WANT BLOOD! I WANT GORE! I WANT POWER!"

Kanna and Inuyasha crept out of sight. Kanna, now with her gun back in her possession, shuddered. "Freaky..." she muttered before finishing off the rest of the rooms in their wing and heading back.

**WITH EVERYONE**

"DAMN YOU HAKKAKU!" Kouga yelled hoarsely in a moment of particular anguish.

"You really shouldn't scream Kouga. With your luck you might as well choke on your spit and die." Kagome lectured a fuming cop.

Inuyasha smirked. "Hey Kouga, don't worry! You can scream all you want to! Nothing will happen! Yell! Scream! Scream! I can't hear you sceeeaaammmiinnngggg!!" he pepped a simmering Kouga, who was now leaning on Kagome as they waited for Miroku and Izayuoi to show up.

"Why should I?" Kouga shot back.

"Uhh...because your nice?" Inuyasha offered lamely.

Kouga snorted.

"Uhh...ok, then fine. For me? Please? Scream? Scream Kouga!" Inuyasha tried the pathetic puppy act. He would even pretend to be pathetic to see Kouga chocking on his spit...surely a hilarious sight.

"Somehow that sounds very very wrong..." The pervert had arrived.

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how was that? Plz tell me! I worked really hard on this!


End file.
